Thursday 13 December 2007

Poems about Depression.

Here are some more poems of mine. These ones are about: Sadness, Loneliness and depression. A look at the darker side of life that we all feel from time to time. I hope you like my poems and I hope they help you in some way. We all feel the darkness of life sometimes but in these times remember you are not alone. Many people seems to think that depression is a bad thing. But really it is not. We all need some depression in a life from time to time. Depression is the one true emotion the makes us truly think our own life deeply. It is good for reflection and to find your bearings and to consider or ask questions of yourself and yourself. When we are happy, we do not think deeply actually when we are happy we usually do not think about our life at all. So a little depression form time to time is a good thing and a natural thing for us and our life. For students, if there is anything you don not understand please let me know and I will explain it to you. The titles of these poems are: "Weight", "Depression", "The Suicide Club", "Phantom Passions", Time To Be Leaving", "Alone", "Expectations", "I Don't Want to Be", "Daddy Remembers" & "Goodbye Gone".

Poem: Weight

" Weight "

This weight.

This overbearing weight.

Why do I carry it, maintain it.

Each year it grinds me down.

Yet I bear it.

Am I punishing myself.

For darkness I have done and bathed in.

Each year, each month, each week, each day.

It crushes me.

Each hour, each minute, each second.

It grinds me.

It robs me and yet I hold it.

I could easily free myself from it.

Unshackle, unburden myself.

Yet I do not do it.

Is it fear.

Is it the unknown.

Is it silence.

What is it.

A mystery to me.

Yet I keep it.

Weight.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Depression

" Depression "

Depression, it brings down to deeper levels.

It lets you see things, you did not notice.

Makes you, forces you to think and feel in detail and depth.

It covers you in shades of grey.

Blocking colours that blind and hide deeper understanding.

The greys of depression are vital.

Vital to explore and acknowledge inner truths.

But when the greys turn into darkness.

Turn into absence of light.

Then it becomes a fight for survival to remain and want to be alive.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: The Suicide Club

" The Suicide Club "

I have looked inside myself.

Seen my spirit.

I can not discern.

Life and death are just things that get in the way.

In days of dust I was born.

To particles of dust I shall return.

In days of sun I shall play.

At rest I may sleep and dream away.

For good or for bad I have lived my life.

Until the sun and moon cease to shine.

I can destroy my body.

Can utterly destroy my mind.

What does it matter when the book has fallen out of time.

You can kill me if you want to.

But do not tell me.

Keep it for later.

That way you can surprise me.

Grasp the screams.

Suppress the terror.

Watch the fear flow out when blood mixes with water.

Homicidal laugh.

Genocidal silence.

Liquid salted droplets.

Years cried one last time.

I am glad you have joined.

Welcome to the suicide club.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Phantom Passions

" Phantom Passions "

As the days rolls out and the shadows crawl in.

The phantom passions of my mind awaken for the insanity to begin.

How sweet the taste of your body on my soul.

Phantom passions, focus on their outlines.

Love is not real today, see.

phantom passions are all there will ever be.

Rip, tear, torture my sickening immortal spirit.

I try to escape to find my heart blackened out.

Desire and lust burning inside me like white fire.

Phantom passions are etch in my mind.

Phantoms I focus on their blurred lines.

Passions are hot, phantom passion are all I will feel.

I reach out my hand in despair, discovering that no-one else is there.

Life is full of loneliness, some fear I will never feel the touch of a loving hand.

Phantom passions are all there will be.

Phantom passions, my whole body is a gate, to be and never see.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Time To Be Leaving

" Time To Be Leaving "

Time to leave this place.

I have been forced out.

Now I must go, go where i do not know.

Leaving all that is me.

Leaving all that I know.

To step forwards into the never never.

Waiting for what may come or go.

Travel forwards with my life.

Secrets lurking behind our collective eyes.

Searching for a place to hide.

To rest my weary and tired mind.

Dreaming of home, dreaming of me.

Dreaming of tomorrow.

Frightened and alone.

Lost to the people who walk the streets, about me.

At least the city knows me.

The city smiles a welcome through the morning snow.

Lost all that was me.

Lost all that I have known.

Passed through what might have been.

Waiting for something to come or go.

Yes, I have chosen to be this way.

Yes, I have chosen to lose my way.

Place my life in the lost and found.

Maybe some day I will claim it.

Well maybe when I decide to go back home.

Time to be leaving this place.

It is time to go.

Go where, you ask me.

Go where, I do not know.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Alone

" Alone "

I see my troubles drawing near.

I feel them developing my fears.

Like a streetlight in the night.

Pushing back the darkness.

I try to fight.

Can you feel it in the air.

What frightens me.

A sense I do not know.

Like a whiteout of in a blizzard of virgin snow.

I try to close my eyes.

Still they remain open.

I wish I could close them.

I don not want to see this coming.

Well it is five to nine, in a few hours it will midnight.

Reverse the clock.

Waves break over my mind.

Fishing on the rocks, waiting for a bite.

Water spray falls over me but no fish will bite.

I see my troubles drawing near.

Developing all my fears.

Searching for something.

I do not know, what should I find.

There is only one thing that I do know.

I am alone, alone, alone.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Expectations

" Expectations "

You lent me forty dollars, you knew I couldn't pay you back all at once.

I will give twenty dollars this week and twenty the next.

You are a fool to believe I could have paid you back all at once.

Your expectations were wrong.

You decided to have sex with one of my friends.

Do not try to deceive me, I see through your lies.

You thought that it would be ok and you could just walk out the door.

Do not be such a moron, your expectations were wrong.

You are going to get before I even look at that fucking door.

Expectations, expectations.

People always have expectations.

They expect this, they expect that.

How many among us have their expectations crushed.

We whine and we cry.

We shout, scream and complain.

What for and why.

Our expectations were wrong.

I expected to have a normal childhood.

I expected to have a loving partner.

I expected to have a decent job.

I expected to have a comfortable life.

My expectations were wrong.

Twenty-three almost twenty-four.

I Cherish what I have.

maybe I will add to it or maybe lose the lot.

I shall take it as it comes.

Feel no loss when it goes.

I have learnt all my lessons.

My expectations are finally and completely gone.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: I Don't Want To Be

" I Don't Want to Be "

Maestro can you read me another story.

Can you chase away my screams.

No don't ever let my dream.

I don't want to dream, sleep.

I remember when I was child.

Playing was not for fun but to survive.

Working hard and long.

Blood on my hands.

Blood on my feet.

Years go by and by.

Change the place.

Days of school.

Not belonging anywhere.

Not being in.

Drinking and drugs.

fighting and crimes.

Violence for sake of nothing.

At least when I was young.

The consequences were not so great.

I don't want to be.

Responsibility, what is that.

Grow up and die.

Be young and die.

I don't want to be.

Climb a mountain.

Fly into space.

Learn all knowledge.

One day to have pleasant dreams.

Closed the door to my fears.

Encase them in steel and concrete.

Lock my heart away.

In solitary, never to see the light of day.

I guess I don't want.

Don't want to be me.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Daddy Remembers

" Daddy Remembers "

There is a portrait of you in the lounge room.

The drawings and paintings you done plastered all over my bedroom.

Your cups and dishes are still in the kitchen.

When I look at them, I get lost within their lines.

When I look at them, I lose all track of time.

When I look at them, I see you.

The truth of your being, the truth of you not being.

Why did you have to go.

It is so unfair.

Why did you have to leave.

I know it is not your choice.

I guess I will never know.

I guess I will never believe.

If I call out your name and say it clear.

Will it reach you, will you hear.

I know you will always be by my side.

I know you will always be near.

I know but it is not the same.

I laugh at the things you do.

They are only memories.

I smile to hear your voice.

It is only a memory.

You are not in my life.

I am drowning, can not fight the tide.

Yes I remember you play and your cheeky little grin.

Yes I remember you in my arms at night.

Frighten as the thunder storms draw near.

You giggled and laughed, felt safe cause I was there.

It has overwhelmed me.

No light, no colours, they are all gone.

No light, no colours, they are gone from your eyes.

I could not keep you safe this time.

Though I held you in my arms so tight.

I hear the words you last said to me.

I hear them so Crystal clear.

I remember your warm breathe and sound of you sleeping.

Drowning in this life, drowning cause I don't understand.

Drowning cause I do not know, drowning I can't believe.

I remember your time, so short it had been.

I remember your laugh, your smile and your tears.

I remember your paintings and your scraped knees.

I remember the last night, I remember it in tears.

I know you are in a peaceful place now.

No more fear, no more pain and no more tears.

I remember, will always remember.

Will never forget, forget you.

I remember, daddy remembers.

Remembers you teddy bear.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Goodbye Gone

" Goodbye Gone "

Darkness in my depression.

Grays filter through my intention.

Lost without moving.

Falling while I am standing.

Drifting out of pain and inner suffering.

Into where there is no more of anything.

Fading in society.

I stare at the mirror for what seems like eternity.

Can not find me, can not see my reflection in it.

Sitting at what looks like a beach.

The waves roll out and in.

Looking down expecting to see my shadow.

But my shadow has disappeared.

It has gone before me, travelled beyond me.

Waiting for me.

Take the final trip.

Into nothing and nowhere.

Lost within time, within my mind and within my eyes.

The final act, the final scene.

I am on my way.

Coldness crawling over me.

The dream, this one last beautiful dream.

It is time now.

I really must go.

Open my eyes for one last time.

I am going, going gone.

Is it real or am I dreaming.

Maybe I am dreaming that I am dreaming of dreaming.

Dreaming that this is real.

Anyway it does not matter.

I am going, going gone.

Oh goodbye.

Gone.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Poems about People

Here are five poems about different people I know. Even though are about five specific people, the also represent many many other people I have met in my life. I am sure that when you read them, they will remind you of someone you know or have known in you lifetime. Maybe not the complete poem but part of it will bring on some memory or recollection. The titles are: "Mr. Vincin", "R'n'R Jenny", "Little Ms. Carina", "Nathanael", "William" and "Jennifer Nova". Please let me know what you think of them; good, bad etc etc. For students, if you do not understand anything about the poems, please let me know and I will explain it for you. Syrbastyian

Poem: Mr. Vincin

" Mr. Vincin "

It is a hot summer's night, sleep is far away now.

Mr. Vincin eyes watch the story of an unconscious dream.

Look close, can you you see what he sees.

What does he see.

Mr. Vincin your coke can is burning, melting down, out of sight.

Mr. Vincin the clouds are turning, blackening day into night.

See the world turning or is it really burning.

You are young and you think you know it all.

You are young and you will fall.

Open your eyes, see.

There is no help for you, Mr. Vincin.

Did you promise yourself success?

All you got was beat to dust.

Did you promise yourself love?

All you got was a thirty-five year old angel of mental destruction.

We tried to warn you, no use.

Well I guess there is nothing for you to do.

Except, smoke some mother-nature and washing her down with booze and pills.

Fucker.

Listen to some good metal to bring the anger out.

So you can kill the Datsun One Twenty Y.

That is what life is about.

You are young and she killed you inside.

You are young and you think you understand.

Still you have the rest of your life.

No outside hand for you my friend.

No help for Mr. Vincin.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: R'n'R Jenny

" R 'n' R Jenny "

Werewolf howls in a full moon's light.

Cats are screaming, they can sense it alright.

Night animals are restless, they know what is going down.

Because rock'n'roll Jenny is back on the prowl.

All you little school boys get your heads out of them books.

There is a fire burning deep inside, mind is wondering what it will be tonight.

Rock'n'roll Jenny is back in town.

Rock'n'roll Jenny will make you a clown.

Rock'n'roll Jenny does not do fantasy.

She just turns ecstasy into mind blowing reality.

There is a fire in your balls and a thought in your mind.

You have never had so much pleasure all at the same time.

Do you know the difference between heaven and hell.

Aah man I do not think so, she got you under her rock'n'roll spell.

She is a real live wire.

Yes, she is a pleasure machine.

Start her engine up, she will never break down.

Before you know it you will be begging to go down.

Yeah, she has what men and boys want.

And she knows what they need.

Oh our little rock'n'roll Jenny will break all the rules and bring you to your knees.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Little Ms. Carina

" Little Ms. Carina "

Sharp as a razor, like ice.

Little Ms. Carina's words will tell no lies.

Heart of an Aztec, Mayan stature, Spanish beauty.

Gentle and delicate as a single snow flake.

Little Ms. Carina is a rose, how do I begin.

Honest to a fault, perceptive isn't that to truth.

Full of passion and fire.

Wrapped in a body that would make a diamond liquefy.

Little Ms. Carina the rose in the midnight sky.

She will wipe away your tears and comfort the child inside.

She dreams of monsters chasing her all night.

She dreams of picnics in springtime and lovers under moonlight.

Little Ms. Carina her beauty is endless.

Her eyes tell her story.

Her heart is her spirit with a smile that brings joy.

Positive and yet unsure.

Full of hope with at times doubt.

Imperfect but this makes her all the more perfect.

Little Ms. Carina is Little Ms. Carina.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Nathanael

" Nathanael "

As Nathanael came to the crest of the Crystal mountain.

He gazed on the valley before him.

He fell upon his knees and wept for he had never seen such true and everlasting beauty.

Beauty of which no words could describe or no person could ever hope to comprehend.

With pure love there before him but doubt in his heart that he could have it.

With tears of wonder running down his face mixed with sadness of love so strong.

Yet confusion and questions in himself on the thorns of doubt.

Cry of the sadness in your heart no more, let her arms hold you.

Her arms are small but her heart and love for you is so strong for you.

With her you are free, with her you are truly yourself.

She sees only you and not the image of you.

Doubt no more, cry no more.

Fly and be free on the with of love.

So cry no more, Nathanael.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: William

" William "

He can laugh.

He can smile, though he does not like to.

He can be sad sometimes.

He can get depressed.

He has cried once, that was for a short tick of time.

He can be hurt, he will never show it.

He can be angered, though you will never know.

He is not that special.

He can be more than a little strange.

He is ordinarily different.

At times extreme unusual in his wants and ways.

He can love, but he is afraid.

He can be trusted, even if he he would not be.

He can trust, but does not like to.

Responsible, he can be but it is something he can do without.

Violent he can be and terribly violent he has been.

He has dark secrets deep inside him.

Secrets he would not, can not, tell even the most loving ear.

He battles with himself constantly.

Thoughts and memories of life, life twisted.

He has suffered so much, suffered great pain.

He might holding it or he might be insane.

He is just a person.

And William is his name.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier

Poem: Jennifer Nova

" Jennifer Nova "

Bobbed blonde hair with a hint of brown.

Brown twisting, turning flowing there with the blonde.

Radiant smile that lights up a room.

champagne personality which bubbles and tickles.

Cut top, maybe a little low.

But hey, what the heck.

Sometimes a girl's got to show.

Sad to see you leave.

Sad to see you go.

Remember this here, remember this time.

Remember what it was, remember what life was like.

Do not forgot us.

Us lost to the past.

We will not forgot you.

Ms. Parker you are memories to last.

By Syrbastyian Vzampfyier