Neville

Let me introduce to Neville.


A man in his mid 30's, hard working and average intelligence. A mate, a friend, the guy you could share a drink with a the b\pub and have a laugh with. Your average bloke.


This is the Neville the society knew, that most people knew.




Now let me introduce to you the Neville I knew.
My Neville, would come home from work and punch me in the back of the head.
Then he would force me to suck his cock. This was on a good day.


On an average day he would beat me until something bled or broken and then he would rape.  
He would tie me up and to something and rape me.


I think he enjoyed it more because I would always fight back. He liked that.


But Neville's favourite thing was to beat me until I was almost unconscious and then put me in the freezer for about an hour. When my body had become ice cold he would rape me. I guess he like the death coldness of my body.


The world does not have to worry about Neville any more. That got taken care of some time back though it did not give the satisfaction that I thought would have.


So why now, why say now. Because it is time.  I do not have a special person to share this with. So I may as well share it to to the world.


The point: Things happen, and if bad things happen to you as a child. It is not your fault, you had no power and there was nothing you could have done. So that guilt you feel, that shame you feel, stop it. You have nothing to feel guilty or shame about. You did nothing wrong.


A monster hurt you, a monster stole your childhood. So do not feel bad in any way.
You are great, you survived. You are greater because you did not repeat what was done to you.


We can let the past define our future or we can accept that bad things happen to us and them them go. Letting go is hard but it is what will make you truly free.


Be free those who have suffered monsters and know that you are not alone, others share and know your pain.


This is why now I speak. So maybe my experience and openness with it may help someone who has had the thing same thing happen to them.


Life does get better and some day you will heal.